in other words.

i've decided that though those are my thoughts today, the last post is not one upon which i want thoughts to dwell, so this is something else that i was working on yesterday. i think that i would like it as a song. actually, i just like the idea itself, which is the case with most anything that comes from my fingers; or my lips. no title yet, and it's pretty rough, but enjoy:

beginning of the year,
looking to keep track,
i bought a picture-a-day for my desk

time flips by, goin' all too fast
somehow the future became the past
through spring and summer, then into fall,
my picture-a-day holds it all

(flipping through the pages of time)

april, june, july, september,
30 days throughout november
but i didn't get past the twelveth.
perhaps i'll stay in my pretty picture
and watch the world go by
in my perpetual mid-november, holding onto this moment of mine.

go on life, come back for me later
i'm taking this day that i rightfully payed for
what's the use in flipping through time?
i'm holding onto this moment of mine.

april, june, july, september,
30 days throughout november
but i didn't get past the twelveth.
perhaps i'll stay in my pretty picture
and watch the world go by
in my perpetual mid-november, holding onto this moment of mine.

don't move the page, i'm likin' this twelveth
i'll stay here a while, in fall

at a loss

as i have grown older, i've realized how similar me and my siblings are. still there are differences that distinguish us in many ways. as my dad likes to say, among others we are very similar, among ourselves were widely different.
well, among only the family yesterday (or i guess today if you want to get technical), i was shown a Major difference between me and my little brother. i was just getting to bed around 1:30 when i started hearing noises. now, my room is right below my brother's, so of course i hear noise when he moves around or has his radio on or something. but normally i don't hear windows opening and screens popping out. when i heard a soft thump on the grate above my window and footsteps, i ran upstairs. my parents brought him back in and monitored him for while, but they eventually fell asleep and i did too. and my brother snuck out the back door. he returned home at 8.
now, i have never even considered sneaking out. it's wrong. you don't sneak out of your house in the middle of the night to do good things. i don't understand. and i don't know what to do. why does he do this to my parents? he knows what's right, why doesn't he do it? how can you blatantly disregard not only your parents, but yourself?
i wish that elder were here. he sets a good example for the younger boys, and he gets along with them.

turkey goodness

and the joy continues on! ah! explications are behind me! i finished that eternal book (it's really good by the way, i like it a lot, just don't choke it all down in a single day. or even half of it.) And my explications! all that i have to do now is get that horrid notebook done (it's terrible work. i detest it, by the way). that takes forever by the by. i'm tired of just sitting at that scanner. either what way, i'm going to not think about that right now. instead, i thhink i'm going to go drink some hot chocolate.

joyful noise!

yay for windows 2000 and a usb port that works!

put off

i'm so sick of being at school with nothing to do durning this period. my progression in this area has stemmed and it angers me. with no output, i sit here stewing while i wait for the one printer that we have (i do have a single picture to print). the teacher called mt yesterday to move the photo day to thursday because of the weather, which i found out when i walked into the classroom. the weather is Beautiful. i should be Outside shooting photographs of self-conscious little munchkins.
in addition, the teacher is giving me looks that imply a flagrance which is not mine.
i suppose that this all has a good lesson to learn, somewhere. it must relate to trust on other people and the reliance one has that what the teacher says is going on is really what's going on. and patience. there's a lot of that mixed in too. i hate being taught patience. i don't want that virtue. that lesson is more frustrating than thermochem. all i know is that i'm going crazy, and that's a lesson that i've had presented many times already.
k, i'm done. i'm going to go to the other side of the classroom to be morbid and cynical while i read david copperfield. we'll be buds, me and dave.

canyon

it's interesting to compare these pictures to those that i took a month ago and posted. as soon as november hit, those leaves came down like candy on a skittles commercial. everything's brown and crackly and you get the feeling like the world is wrapping up, brushing its teeth, and getting ready for bed. i guess that it deserves a rest, what with the big show that it's put on.


i find it reassuring that there is some predictability to life, particularly in the weather at the moment, even in utah. fall comes in some shape or form, as does the winter, icing the waterfalls like my mom's zuccini cake.


i love the color of the canyon. makes it hard when i need black and white for my portfolio. i decided that i should go as the sun was getting lower (it helped that that was the time that i happened to have a car too) to get richer contrast and texture. it worked sometimes, but other times it actually flattened the pictures.


one thing about this year that is different, however, is my reaction to the oncoming season. normally, i'd be getting mellow to the point of sad as winter sets in. instead, i have all this unexplainable energy. it's like the feeling you get when Christmas is a week away, except that i still have over a month.
anyway, enough of all the backshots. the last photo just makes me laugh. society's kind of silly sometimes.

all about ME

i got my pcmcia card today. but i've also devoloped a severe distaste towards windows ME. it makes me want to brake things, which is bad when i'm at a computer with critical information within.
i admit, i was warned. curse my hard head.

out and out

funny story for you:
i walked into work today at the Other store, checking the time clock as it punched my timecard. it was just after five. i worked with the manager for an hour until the two trainees i was closing with came in. jessica took off at thata point and i was left with james and dana. james has been working for nearly three weeks, but dana is on her third day today. fun!
well, we worked through the night, and i watched the clock as it got closer to closing time - 10. we got to nine, and i started to close things down, thinking to set an example for these impressionable youngsters that happened to both be older than i. we shut off part of the lobby, took out the trash, put away food, and i was getting really excited to get out early for a change. it was five to ten and james' parents walked in to order ice cream. they talked and one of them mentioned to me that it was only nine.
'What!?' i thought, 'no, i watched the clock, i swear, it's ten.' i checked thhe clock and it still said ten - five after ten, in fact. then i realized: that wasn't the clock that i clocked in on (there's a dangling preposition for you). i checked the time clock and it confirmed my worst fears. it really was nine.
i prayed that no one would come in for the last hour, but i guess that my faith was lacking because just then we got a group. we had to pull the now cold chicken anad curry out and warm it up, pretending that there wasn't a bunch of closing materials lying around.
we did finally kick the last people out and lock the doors, this time at the Real ten, and busted out like there was no tomorrow, but i felt sheepish. i'm afraid that i was not quite the best example of a good closer for the newbies to have before they close by themselves tomorrow.