trade me seats, anyone?

i've occasionally felt that in the play of life i'd do best as a side character. honestly, they get to watch the whole thing from the best seats in the house and just have to interact once and again as the comic relief.
most of the time i can sit back and watch the play, but for some reason i've been thrust into the main light for this section, and i am more envious than ever of those blasted side characters. truth be told (if you look at the last paragraph, we are being honest after all), my current situation would probably be Hilarious if i were not tangled up in the middle of it. it's followed me to work and my coworkers are having a field day.
what's even more frustrating is that yesterday i thought that i had come to a good conclusion. i made a decision, but then i got home and things changed again, so now i'm back at square one. Curses.
can i be changed into a cow and go home?