soapbox of sorts

sorry, this is longer than i really meant it to be, and it's difinately biased.i'm such a dork.
so, my chem teacher, zach, invited all his students to come to his church's Christmas presentation thingamabober. so, i figure, i could use some culture and so i went over there with frog boy in tow. he's a good person to go with last minute. i think that he has about as little a life as i do, so he works when other weird busy people are.. well, busy. Anyway, moving onward...even just walking into the church was odd. it was the evangelical one across from the high school. they have a book store and advertizements for stuff all over. and the nursery had a keyrack like the one at the quarry. not sure what that was for. oh, and everyone was wearing casual clothes. almost scroungry street clothes. well, they started out with a childen's choir (no prayer) that was singing and dancing like you would see at a school Christmas performance, and all the words to all the songs were projected onto two screens at the front of the room. then the adult choir got up and did the same thing, only complimented by a set of drums and some electric guitars. they had some skits about Christmas cards and letters and how because Jesus was The Word, he was God's voicebox running around as a person and was really God's Christmas letter to us. and how God can't talk to us and we can't really know what God would say to us individually or even collectively today, but if he could then let's give some examples of what he might say. and they read off different introductions (dear Independant, dear Guilty, dear Afflicted, dear Dependant...apparently abby vanburan has taken over the position of God now) with letters attached that represented a God that was not the one that i thought existed. he didn't sound like a Father at all. maybe that got lost somewhere when he was telling Dependant that he should try and kick his addiction this Christmas on go to church once again, even though that's what he tried last year and there was really no hope because he was hooked.
it didn't seem to take long into the presentation before i was coughing and had a headache. with the last song, the minister thanked us for coming and hoped that we had felt good and heard the Lord's voice (i thought that he couldn't talk to us), and shooed us away for cookies and coffee. we skipped out and made for the car. all in all i guess that it was okay, but it wasn't for Sunday and it didn't uplift or really inspire me at all. to me, it didn't seem to fill the function of a church activity.
i remember when we went to the RLDS church in Nauvoo that it was really weird and didn't make sense there either. i know that i'm very uni-cultured so anything different is weird. but still, i didn't really like it. my head still hurts from the drums and the undulating projector thing. so i will off to bed and try to do well on my chemistry test tomorrow. i wish that the youth Christmas fireside was next week instead of last, i would invite zach.
and as a quick post script, for those of you following the drama, i relapsed. yes, i like ryan again. what do i do? why is he so easy for me to like? it's different, but...ARG! i'm such a sucker. i do still like elder federson too though, but he's a missionary (ahaha! not forever though!). and ryan'll be a missionary in, what, four months? i know, i know, goosechild. i'm going to bed.