to me

honestly, i think that i've pretty much failed in my assignment to take group shots over the break. i haven't even really used that camera at all. trouble. maybe tomorrow i'll be able to do something before or after work. hopefully. at any rate, what i've been busy with in the mean time has been rather thought-provoking in many facets. the most recent has to do with something that is as historic in my family as the cloth diapers we were wrapped in as babies: idaho. we went for a quick trip to see family while we had a minute. i started thinking today as we were packing up to head back of things that stood out and meant a lot to me. what the significant objects are, if you will. i thought of pictures in the basement, the pool table, a horse-bridle mirror, a record collection, a china cabinet, or mom's bronzed shoes. i thought of a scene that i'd seen hundreds of times that really was an idaho scene to me. i wish that i had thought of all of these in time to take pictures. i didn't. instead, i got two quick shots on the way out. i feel like i've missed something.

anyway, i've babbled for a long time and all i really had to share was a few pieces of idaho and what it is to me. but remember, it's missing a lot. it's not the whole picture.

nun

i'm ocd, get over it. yes, i've finished my homework, get over it. this is what happens when i have stuff to do and no life.

anyway, on with what i really want to talk about.
elder came home last week. it's been interesting having him here. he's the same person, but not the same. i remember some things that i notice are the same and i see other things that are not the same at all. who is this person? i don't really know how to act around him or what to do. i know that i had the same problem when sister came home last year, but i still don't know what to do about it. mostly i just feel awkward and silly.

then again, i know that i have changed a lot. i am not the same as i was two years ago, hair aside. it's odd to think that he only really got snapshots of what was larger than life for me.

i kind of wish that he had come during school because it would have given me an excuse to do something all day instead of just feeling out of place. That is one reason why i finished the homework that i had. kind of the anti-social way out, but what can i do? oi.

Christmas is good. it always is. it was carnage all day. it's a great picture, isn't it? Christmas carnage. it seems sos weird to me sometimes that people give me presents. i got so much. i get so excited. i still wake up at six. i was just happy that all the family was there. that was the best. though, i won't say no to a stuffed reindeer. it's so cute!

squared

i love going up to temple square in the winter. the lights are beautiful, and the atmosphere is very Christmas-y. for mutual today we went to the legacy theatre for the Joseph Smith movie, then saw the lights and had hot chocolate in the parking lot. i enjoyed myself, despite the long car ride with hyper 12 year old girls. it was really hard to focus my camera with no light, but i got a few shots that i liked. we'll see how they turn out on the screen.

the first is the classic temple shot. yes, i am a sucker for the Christmas tree lights and the lit-up temple. i wish that i'd been able to be more in the center, but we can't always have everything our way can we? life is not mcdonald's (ironic how you never really get what you want at those places, huh? they just listen half-way, shove what they think you want in a bag and send you on your way. another 'satisfied' customer.).
the second is a different perspective on the classic shot of Moroni. i was looking through the window of the theatre before we went into the movie. good stuff.


i like this one a lot. you can't see it, but the nativity is right under the tree.i took a ton more, but i didn't like any of them. really, i failed on my assignment (taking group pictures), because people move too fast for any kind of good shot in the dark. the light would go weird or the thing would be completely blurry. i was not pleased. what am i going to do? go to the super-market and corner some innocent little family. bleh.

ACT now!

it's such a good feeling to walk away from a test and know that you will never have to sit through it again. that feeling is added to when, for the first time, you actually finish the whole test. i rarely even did that in the practice exams. whatever has happened the last two weeks, i'm glad for it. mostly though, i'm excited that there is less than two weeks left of school. i'm weary of school. it's beginning to interfere with my education.

StAT!

in my experience as a student, i've had a great deal of trouble with timed tests. it frustrates me to no end that i do just as well, if not better, in school than those who score much higher on these tests. but i'm always cut for time, and my scores suffer.

however, i took the sat today, and greatly surprised myself. out of the ten sections that comprise the test, i finished eight with time to spare, and felt very secure in my answers. i might even venture to say that i enjoyed the test. for once i didn't come home feeling like i had blown a large chunk of my parents' money. and the benefit is that if the results come out better than my act, byu takes the sat too! and if i don't, no worries! it's all good.

man, i was way blessed today. awesome possum (hey! i should ask for a possum for Christmas!)

in other words.

i've decided that though those are my thoughts today, the last post is not one upon which i want thoughts to dwell, so this is something else that i was working on yesterday. i think that i would like it as a song. actually, i just like the idea itself, which is the case with most anything that comes from my fingers; or my lips. no title yet, and it's pretty rough, but enjoy:

beginning of the year,
looking to keep track,
i bought a picture-a-day for my desk

time flips by, goin' all too fast
somehow the future became the past
through spring and summer, then into fall,
my picture-a-day holds it all

(flipping through the pages of time)

april, june, july, september,
30 days throughout november
but i didn't get past the twelveth.
perhaps i'll stay in my pretty picture
and watch the world go by
in my perpetual mid-november, holding onto this moment of mine.

go on life, come back for me later
i'm taking this day that i rightfully payed for
what's the use in flipping through time?
i'm holding onto this moment of mine.

april, june, july, september,
30 days throughout november
but i didn't get past the twelveth.
perhaps i'll stay in my pretty picture
and watch the world go by
in my perpetual mid-november, holding onto this moment of mine.

don't move the page, i'm likin' this twelveth
i'll stay here a while, in fall

at a loss

as i have grown older, i've realized how similar me and my siblings are. still there are differences that distinguish us in many ways. as my dad likes to say, among others we are very similar, among ourselves were widely different.
well, among only the family yesterday (or i guess today if you want to get technical), i was shown a Major difference between me and my little brother. i was just getting to bed around 1:30 when i started hearing noises. now, my room is right below my brother's, so of course i hear noise when he moves around or has his radio on or something. but normally i don't hear windows opening and screens popping out. when i heard a soft thump on the grate above my window and footsteps, i ran upstairs. my parents brought him back in and monitored him for while, but they eventually fell asleep and i did too. and my brother snuck out the back door. he returned home at 8.
now, i have never even considered sneaking out. it's wrong. you don't sneak out of your house in the middle of the night to do good things. i don't understand. and i don't know what to do. why does he do this to my parents? he knows what's right, why doesn't he do it? how can you blatantly disregard not only your parents, but yourself?
i wish that elder were here. he sets a good example for the younger boys, and he gets along with them.

turkey goodness

and the joy continues on! ah! explications are behind me! i finished that eternal book (it's really good by the way, i like it a lot, just don't choke it all down in a single day. or even half of it.) And my explications! all that i have to do now is get that horrid notebook done (it's terrible work. i detest it, by the way). that takes forever by the by. i'm tired of just sitting at that scanner. either what way, i'm going to not think about that right now. instead, i thhink i'm going to go drink some hot chocolate.

joyful noise!

yay for windows 2000 and a usb port that works!

put off

i'm so sick of being at school with nothing to do durning this period. my progression in this area has stemmed and it angers me. with no output, i sit here stewing while i wait for the one printer that we have (i do have a single picture to print). the teacher called mt yesterday to move the photo day to thursday because of the weather, which i found out when i walked into the classroom. the weather is Beautiful. i should be Outside shooting photographs of self-conscious little munchkins.
in addition, the teacher is giving me looks that imply a flagrance which is not mine.
i suppose that this all has a good lesson to learn, somewhere. it must relate to trust on other people and the reliance one has that what the teacher says is going on is really what's going on. and patience. there's a lot of that mixed in too. i hate being taught patience. i don't want that virtue. that lesson is more frustrating than thermochem. all i know is that i'm going crazy, and that's a lesson that i've had presented many times already.
k, i'm done. i'm going to go to the other side of the classroom to be morbid and cynical while i read david copperfield. we'll be buds, me and dave.

canyon

it's interesting to compare these pictures to those that i took a month ago and posted. as soon as november hit, those leaves came down like candy on a skittles commercial. everything's brown and crackly and you get the feeling like the world is wrapping up, brushing its teeth, and getting ready for bed. i guess that it deserves a rest, what with the big show that it's put on.


i find it reassuring that there is some predictability to life, particularly in the weather at the moment, even in utah. fall comes in some shape or form, as does the winter, icing the waterfalls like my mom's zuccini cake.


i love the color of the canyon. makes it hard when i need black and white for my portfolio. i decided that i should go as the sun was getting lower (it helped that that was the time that i happened to have a car too) to get richer contrast and texture. it worked sometimes, but other times it actually flattened the pictures.


one thing about this year that is different, however, is my reaction to the oncoming season. normally, i'd be getting mellow to the point of sad as winter sets in. instead, i have all this unexplainable energy. it's like the feeling you get when Christmas is a week away, except that i still have over a month.
anyway, enough of all the backshots. the last photo just makes me laugh. society's kind of silly sometimes.

all about ME

i got my pcmcia card today. but i've also devoloped a severe distaste towards windows ME. it makes me want to brake things, which is bad when i'm at a computer with critical information within.
i admit, i was warned. curse my hard head.

out and out

funny story for you:
i walked into work today at the Other store, checking the time clock as it punched my timecard. it was just after five. i worked with the manager for an hour until the two trainees i was closing with came in. jessica took off at thata point and i was left with james and dana. james has been working for nearly three weeks, but dana is on her third day today. fun!
well, we worked through the night, and i watched the clock as it got closer to closing time - 10. we got to nine, and i started to close things down, thinking to set an example for these impressionable youngsters that happened to both be older than i. we shut off part of the lobby, took out the trash, put away food, and i was getting really excited to get out early for a change. it was five to ten and james' parents walked in to order ice cream. they talked and one of them mentioned to me that it was only nine.
'What!?' i thought, 'no, i watched the clock, i swear, it's ten.' i checked thhe clock and it still said ten - five after ten, in fact. then i realized: that wasn't the clock that i clocked in on (there's a dangling preposition for you). i checked the time clock and it confirmed my worst fears. it really was nine.
i prayed that no one would come in for the last hour, but i guess that my faith was lacking because just then we got a group. we had to pull the now cold chicken anad curry out and warm it up, pretending that there wasn't a bunch of closing materials lying around.
we did finally kick the last people out and lock the doors, this time at the Real ten, and busted out like there was no tomorrow, but i felt sheepish. i'm afraid that i was not quite the best example of a good closer for the newbies to have before they close by themselves tomorrow.

greasers

i think that everyone should work in fast food at least once in their life. there is a lot to learn from working for minimum wage, under pressure, with hungry stressed people. in addition to the people skills that it teaches you, food service awakens the worker in the fundamental aspects of staple food quality. you learn patience, persistence, anad selective apathy. you can overcome your fear of intimidating people in positions of power. you learn what good food is, and what good food Isn't. you learn how to make food in a way that you might eat it. you learn that sometimes you just gotta suck it up and do the bad jobs. you learn that most of the time, the customer is NOT right. you learn to be more easy-going.
were everyone to actually Work Behind the scenes at their frequent food haunts, lawsuits would decrease astronomically. common customer curtesy might become more common. the customers might actually have a realistic perception of what exactly they are ingesting into their systems, and what the preparatory are like. obesity would plummet, and those. fast food taught me the meaning of displaced anger; all the time people are yelling in your face for things that often aren't even remotely your fault. it's not my fault that the price went up, that there are a billion people that came into the restaurant at the same time as you, that we happen to be out of your favorite item, that i have to check your i.d., or that i haven't been informed that You get a special discount for being the fourtieth bum from savers to walk in on tuesday after three.
anyway, i've had nothing much to think about without homework (i'm saving english for tomorrow), but the screen looked like it needed a boost. I haven't even been to work this week. and i do like my job. it's not as bad as people make it out to be. society is rather pecimistic, and i just like to sit on the porch beside it sometimes being morbid and cynical. makes me laugh.

new thought

let's NOT go up the Canyon when shooting for Black and White, ya? especially in fall. :P

saturday at joe's

the other highlight of my week was my saturday at work. it's a funny story.
so, my shift started at noon. when i walked in there, johnathan was sweeping the floor. this was strange because normally that's what i do when there are no customers around and i'm starting to close. i continued to look around and was very surprised to see that that garbage was full, none of the counters were clean, there was rice in the cooker, and dishes were piled high in the sink. whoever had closed the night before had done it really badly. johnathan mentioned that jeremy had left a note to call him. when he did, jeremy explained that he sometimes does this to his employees to remind them of the importance of closing really well. the two of us stewed there for a while and called back to ask if we were doing anything wrong. jeremy replied that there was occasionally a thing or two that we might do better, but other than that, we were doing fine. he went on to say that we shouldn't be too stressed and to keep smiling!
johnathan and i weren't smiling. we worked to get everything presentable (luckily the store is dead on saturdays), johnathan leaving around one. i was just finishing the work jeremy left when my nose started to bleed. Perfect. i was the only one working, so i couldn't really run to the bathroom, leaving the store unguarded, so instead i tried to sop up what i could with a clean towel which i then disposed of, getting it to stop with minimal damage to my already dirty shirt. i checked my watch to see what time it was and discovered that it had stopped. we don't have a clock in the store, so i was plunged into the timeless zone. i popped my head into the gas station to see what time it was and afterwards relied on the two customers that came in. at what i thought to be about four-thirty i wrapped everything up, mopped, and locked up. the last thing that we do is take out that garbage, because we have to leave the store, so i grabbed all my stuff, jammed the plastic bag in the door so i'd be able to get the can back in, and dragged the can back to the dumpster. i tried to get the lid up, but i'm to short to get it past the tipping point and there wasn't a stick or anything around. so, i tried to lift the lid with one hand and the garbage with the other, but the bag was really heavy. i got it part way up when the bag broke, dumping hogi remains and teriyaki sauce everywhere, including on my jeans. i wanted to just sit down and be miserable until a boy came to help the pathetic damsel in distress. it didn't happen. the bag with the extra rice was still mostly intact, and i lifted that to put it in, when it broke too, steamy rice and garbage juice Pouring down my arm, shirt, and into my pants. i wasn't so happy. i guess that i got the flagrant knight in shining armour. i dragged the can back to the door and shriveled yet again when i saw that the door had closed Over the new bag, locking me and the can out of the restaurant. i lamely coaxed the plastic from under the door, and pulled the can into the gas station, a dripping mess of melted minimum wage. i explained myself to the cashier and he replied that they could only let me back into the store if they got a call from my manager. i don't even know jeremy's number. he finally consented to let me push the can through the door into the restaurant, and i went back to the car, my juices starting to dry enough to relieve some of my guilt about sitting in freud and i drove home, stopping by all-a-dollar on my way to purchase a clock and a consolation candy bar.
anyway, that's our show. i haven't really done lots of homework and i have a paper to re-write tomorrow, along with stats and fashion. end of the term is next week. :P

i love narrative

corie...

if there's one thing that i've learned in court, it's don't say something when you're tired and angry, you might say something that you will soon regret. i am now tired and Angry.
Frog Boy is so lucky that i promised my sister i'd only write once a month.

city parking...and more!

it's kind of weird to me when i don't go to school. i came back from my field trip today and didn't know what to do with myself. not that i really knew what to do with myself ON the field trip, but that's beside the point.

i did enjoy myself though. i mostly wandered around sola, but i had a lot to think about and i came up with quite a bit.

for example, i have a reason for why my style is different. i just like to have reasons, it makes my brain run easier, even if the reasons are stupid. but anyway, my reason is that, like some photographers, my photos portray thoughts more than the subject itself. a photo is a feeling or idea. more than the sum of its parts. where i digress, however, is in my thinking.

i think very differently than most people, teenagers in particular. so, obviously, my photos would be very different in order to portray my different thoughts, ideas, and feelings.



i'd laugh if anyone tried to analyse my stuff though. i have trouble with communication. which is why i'm going to study that.
by the by, i didn't get very far with my digital pics of the city, so i was playing around in the music room.

black and white

can you tell that i've been using my digital camera? and that i have an assignment due friday, but that's no as much of the point. pretty much, my camera is my favorite toy ever and i've been pixel-happy for the last couple weeks.

anyway, i went deep into enemy territory today for the sake of scholastics. i thought about bringing the barbi doll, but i didn't have one. it was fun though. confusing, but fun. i shot over 100 pictures i'm down to 12, including duplicates. i'm not sure if that's sad or not. *shrug* either way...

now comes the trouble of deciding which two make the cut. i hate this part. i can change them, but what's the general census? i like the money one a lot, but what about between the eye or trombone? i just don't know.

anyway, that's about it. i have not more to say and i really need to return a story to someone so he can revise it for class tomorrow. i should probably do mine too.
oh! and this last one is just for mavis.


grr. they canceled frisbee this week. now i'm going to be slow and fat sin pe credit. math you!

branching in

there are things in life that one just wants to bottle. i think that this has been a common sentiment for quite some time. it has provoked countless works of art, including paintings, poems, books, perfumes, and photographs. i too have sought to capture a feeling, an idea, a thought, or just a moment in general.

for example, i have always loved the fall leaves. even with the knowledge that the winter is oncoming and soon steal my summer sun from me, i cannot help but admire the brilliance that adorns the mountains and creeps across the valley as a sheer wave of color.

as we went up the canyon between sessions of conference yesterday, i collected a couple of leaves to press. when i got home and went to put them in the dictionary (under 'l' for leaves) i found several already in there. they were forgotten, faded, and brittle, just like the moment that i'd tried to save with them. still, i put the new leaves in and tried again. we'll see what happens.

i also put my camera to use in an effort to retain what comes each fall. noted, it can't really be done, but i tried, and i came up with some that i like.

man, if man is God's greatest glory, we must be pretty darn amazing.

in the eye

i didn't have to go to school today. i did anyway and it was rather pointless. while the sophomores and juniors take their state tests, the seniors had two options: stay home and sleep till ten to be at school at ten-thirty, or take a practice act test. i'm always killed for time and really, i can use any help i can get, so i was up at seven ten as usual. but it was still hard for me to actually put forth effort in getting ready, plus i've neglected my laundry, and in the end i was taking the test clad in baggy sweats and the first t-shirt i saw, my hair pulled back without a mirror. which is why i was so stunningly beautiful that three people commented on it.
my favorite incident was as i was walking out of the lunchroom. naturally, having just bought my lunch, i haphazardly bore it in all hands and pockets, eating it as i walked. i'd just taken a rather large bite of hawaiian pizza when i heard my name being called. i turned around, cheese, sauce and pepperoni dripping down my chin, to see a girl from my fashion class. "terri, you're beautiful!" she said, and gestured to the girl who sat next to her. "isn't she beautiful? just, oh, wow."
yeah, okay. i thanked her around my food and continued walking, worried about her grade in class. when the same thing happened from two other people though, i got the hint. i really need to do my laundry. i should probably take more than ten minutes to get ready for school too. after all, one can't be beautiful all the time.

no chocolate for me

apparently, i'm really bad at the the whole 'signal' game. to me, it makes sense that i get bored, i have a friend who's not busy and who's company i enjoy, so i called to go play. we have fun. this is a casual thing. however, i've been told that this is not what is recieved on the other end. and this is how i get my problems.
BUT! in this case, i was okay. i hope. green man doesn't think the regular way, and he was around with the penguin anyway. it's what it was, and that's all - the park, krispy kremes, pool, and looney tunes. it was fun...

why in the world is this such a cool picture?

relative

it was still early morning when the bluebird flew drowsliy around a stone pillar and lit down by the sparrow. the birds exchanged greetings and events as they had transpired between meetings. as the key of the sparrow's song changed, the bluebird's heart gave a twang of remembrance of a song that she herself had sung not too distantly. throughout the day the song became all the more clear and the little bird had a hard time not humming the tune herself. to her, the song was past, and bringing it back would only hurt. as another jay had told her, he wasn't her type, and she'd best just get over it. still, the cold refrain of a penguin has its moments of appeal.

HAPPY DAY!

IT CAME!!!

hUrry UP!

i hate waiting. i'm so antsy at the moment that i can't even stand myself, and it's getting worse as the minutes tick by. it's cOminG! i can fEEl it. and yes, i admit, that even now i still get excIted, and count down. it's so close, and i Know! i rarely ever Know, but this time i do, and i can't sit still. but when does the knowing become a solid thing to hold and love within my little hands? i'm going CrAzy. i should go run. no greens for me.
and it's less than a week away! and CHRISTMAS!

mmmm hostess

my house is a very fine house, generally, only without the two cats. not tip top by any means, but it's nice. however, even the nicest of houses can use a "once over" when there's company to be had. so, naturally, this is what i did in my situation. to some extent. to whatever extent however, i was somewhat nervous in anticipation of a date that was at my house saturday evening.
and, as in most cases once again, my fears were for the mostly unjustified, because everyone knows what a normal house is normally like anyway. regardless, i have a tendancy that i don't normally notice, or mind, to play the hostess role to the hilt.
without thinking, if there are more than two people coming to my house, i simultaniously take charge and step back to let the rest interact as they will. i organize, prepare, make sure that everyone is having fun, is included, and that the activity doesn't go stale. mostly i watch as it goes, interceeding when necessary and cleaning up afterwards. this tendancy made it very awkward for me when the males of the triple date decided to revolt and put everything away. i was bodily forced to sit in a chair while other people did stuff in my house. i wasn't happy. Just Let Me Clean My House, you FOOlS!!!...but i refused to growl in front of two girls that i didn't know.
this is why we go to somebody else's house most of the time.

it's been a while

i like it when there are pretty pictures to look at. so, i'll give y'all a tidbit of what my day was like. just a tad.


the bright spot in a dirty situation.


a conquered challenge.




love heals all around.

an honest conversation.

no titled yet

between Wrinkled voices
Faded images
painted with an Aged brush
Dusty memories
pulled from a Forgotten corner
Cracked laughter and tears
Worn thoughts and cares
Timeless emotion Recalled
reNewed

-----

my speech pattern broken,
thoughts written, not spoken.
it's rather a curse,
this usage of verse.
i'll stop this mad trend,
put to it...


----

thoughts or opinions on either are appreciated. both were fairly spontanious and rough (as in 2 am rough). i love fall and spring! oh! and summer! i'm not doing so well on my challenge. i'll try and catch up tomorrow.

bork! bork! bork!

technically, i'm not supposed to be writing until school starts, but i had a funny thought to share and since i'm still somewhat intelligable and i've not read at all today, i think that i can sneek away with this.
so, in 2 nephi 28 i was reading merrily along when i ran into some rather interesting vocab: ripe, shaken, stirred up...and i started to think, "this sounds a little like it could be a cooking show!" which puts a whole new perspective on the Book of Mormon. yes, gospel cooking with the prophets, now airing on tuesdays and thursdays at 7/6 central and pacific. put an apron on nephi, add a hat and oven mitts, mormon and moroni sitting in the audience and martha stewart can kiss her kitchen goodbye. mmmm, a big bowl of lamanites, anyone?
hahaha, time to script!
(it probably doesn't help that i watched an hour straight of swedish chef clips.)

i do too!

there's a song by randy newman called "short people". as i puttered around work today i had to use a stool to get several items that i needed, and i found myself asking for help to lift garbage out of Tall recepticals. seeing as many of my coworkers at least a good seven inches over me, mr. newman's song seemed especially appropriate. too bad the chorus goes "short people got no reason to live." it's not my fault. i blame my dad.

roo?

the bluebird heard a faint rustling below her and scanned the ground quickly to discover the source. it was the kangaroo rat, though he was hidden in a bush so she couldn't dicern the rodent. she happily chirp a greeting and delved into a conversation until she was brimming with envy. he had once again proved his amazing intellect and natural skill in any subject, despite his apathy. the bird would have pursued her jealous course had the rat not off-handedly mentioned that he would not return to the stone jungle when the leaves changed.
the bird was soon no longer jealous in any way of her friend. inside the bush, she had not known he was hairless and worn. not having seen or heard of him while flying in the sun, he was confined to the quiet dark. she wished she could do more for him, stem the fear or lighten him to his More usual carefree state, but she knew not how. as he slipped into his burrow, the bluebird gave a slight flutter. he was one to admire.

breakthrough!

ah ha! i understand now!
so, there goes an old english saying that says something to the effect that by working, a guy is bringing home the bacon, yeah? there's also a saying that speaks of saving somebody's bacon; by doing so, in correlation to the former, one could infer that by saving somebody's bacon one is saving the livelyhood and all things affixed thereof of the person whose bacon is salvaged.
see? and i always thought that saving somebody's bacon was in reference to the victim's hindquarters that may have been fried.
i love english.

poor unfortunate souls

now that you're all imagining scenes from the little mermaid, i will turn your attention to a completely different, unrelated subject...
you know that you did some serious damage when you're friend's Companions write to you. or maybe it's just that the penguin is a rather odd bird, and i just happen to be the flavor of the month. either way, i recieved four letters from some rather distressed missionaries asking me to give word to their disfunctional compadre. no, "asking" is far to mild a word, "begging" does the sentiment more justice. to use the words of one elder v, "send a letter, a smoke signal, tap out some morse code, write a scroll and send it to our window via homing pigeon, hire a skywriter...".
well, i had actually sent a letter that very morning before i recieved the message. in it were several plant photos, and one of me, along with a rather grafitti-ed envelope. i was set for quite a while. what more could i do? if they only knew.
with the help of My compadre, a loving reply no lies in wait for the currently slumbering missionaries. just imagine: hot pink paper, blue and black galaxy markers, a penguin being eaten by a seal, ambiguous poultry, and an anthropomorphized ceiling fan. definitely a lot of love there. hahaha, i love summer! i'm such a nerd.

out to pasture

i'm back Again! and i had an amazing week. it gave me so much to think about and i'm overwhelmed with the power of everything that i learned and felt.
it was funny, i live so close to where i went to efy and have spent so much time around campus that i kept thinking that i had to be home by curfew and that should either call or start home because i had chores to do. sleeping in dorms was weird when i was not far from home. especially when the girl in the next room over was from florida.
i wish that i knew better how to explain all that happened. but you'd have to have been in the classes with me and gone to the devotionals, talked, played, and worked with everyone that i did to know. Truth is the coolest thing. i love it when people speek truth. there is a lot of Power and Energy in the truth. It's True. i have a knowledge and conviction. i suppose you could say that i've been re-converted. but i'll come back to that later. on to a lighter note.
yes, i did go COW Tipping. i admit that i am somewhat of a tipper at times. this expeience was interesting in that i did not tip for the one that i first thought that i would. though very attractive in the packaging, i was not all that impressed with the filling. his friend i think i could have tipped for had the water been a little warmer. later i thought that i was only going to have aq little COW, more of a calf really, as he was a counselor (he's swing danced with me! it was super fun!). but it so happened that there was a chap who...possessed several qualities that i systematically added to my "dating file". good conversationalist, willing learner, kind, fun, chivalrious, musically inclined in multiple facets, and nicely mixed together. the austrailian accent was a bonus, even though it was fake. heeheehee. kiwis and daisies. yeah, i'm Kinda hopeless. anyway...
it was even good when i got home! so much stuff happened while i was gone. AP and ACT results, letters, college stuff from my favorite choice, my plants Grew, "musical miss terri", free money, and kiwis four for a dollar at harmons! mangos are Yummy!
umm...Gospel's TRUE! Heavenly Father Loves Each of His Children, Be Good, the Church is Awesome! =D

i can see my arms again!

tired. but i'm Home. and with my Brothers. as fun as girls are, i'm so happy that camp is only five days long. otherwise somebody'd be Dead. and i would be disappointed with myself. i hate when that happens.
there are a lot of stories that would take a lot of time and space to share, so if you Really want to know about the bat, the biffy, the birthday braces, knives, and sarcastic truth, you can specify and i'll tell you later. suffice to say, girls Can be nice (though one was not for too long to the wrong people...), are definitely Weird, and sharing a cabin with them is Obnoxious. that poor thing. i love my brothers, my nephew, my sister and my parents. boys are Great. yep yep.
Gospel's True! I'm trying Hard!

post script

i might chop it after nathan come home, just for a change. i'm a little scared to though. opinions and/or advice?

cut your hair - pavement

i confess, i Love getting my hair cut. having other people play with my hair is great. along with that, manicures, pedicures, facials and all relating procedures are equally fabulous. i guess i don't seem like the type, but that seems to surprise a lot of people (except mavis, who is shaking her head, laughing, and calling me weird).
i got my hair cut yesterday. nothing drastic, just a two-inch trim and retouch of all my layers. the salon is such a funny place. i love all of the different kinds of people, and the reasons for being there. And i Love the reactions of the stylists when they realize what they are dealing with. namely, the raging mass that is my beautiful brunette hair. those reactions are priceless, and will forever remain in my self-amusement section of memories. haha...
plus, after i get my haircut, i get to go on my traditional mini shopping spree. actually it's more like i get to wander around and freely spend five to ten dollars on whatever i want. it makes me happy and i get to show off my new do. which i got a few compimentary looks on by the way.

happy dance!

guille sent me besitos!
anyway,...um, happy thought for the day that i just thought that i would share with you before i go to work. =D

disney

i have decided that disney is ruining the psycological well-being of the rising and current generations. their degenerate tales corrupt impressionable minds with a false sense of social normality. i watched the little mermaid last night, and am thoroughly distraught at these unrealistic stories. it totally caters to the impetuous and disobedient child who ends up being happy and getting her way. it doesn't happen that way! and it shouldn't. i mean this girl is lying and sneeking away from her father, and "falls in love" with a specimin of a completely different species. she sees him and decided that that's the person that she's going to love for all eternity. there is no possible chance for her to love another being. she's completely sold. at the wise old age of 16. and the prince goes for it too! he is completely besotted with a girl because of a pretty face and a beautiful voice. it's all physical. ugh.
She's so lovesick that even when her father tells her that she's being stupid, she goes off to the renowned witch and changes Species so she can seceed from everyone she's ever known to chase after a guy she's never even talked to. And she has to get him to Truely love her AND kiss her in less that three days. A: a good pair of pants fits in with the rest of you wardrobe, and B: True love doesn't develop in Three days. it takes Time and you should be friends first, really getting to know them as a person. common interests and goals and values and all that.
other fairy tales are just as bad; take snow white (i for one would not run off and marry the first guy that came along and kissed my cold dead corpse. creepy.), sleeping beauty, and a vast myriad of others. they've sold out! i shake my head at them. it's no wonder that the divorce rate is nearly 50%. :P
so the moral is keep your temper and your fins.

p.s.- my consolation! robin hood was good friends with marian! they were best buds! that one will work! praises be!

p.s.

the penguin's suited up starting last night. cool beans.

spilled milk over the bridge

i have a lot on my mind, but a short circuit between my brain and my tongue. i can't think of how to say anything. it's a good thing that it's summer. that way i can be unexpressive without rising questions. plus, i have work today, so i have an excuse to be non-sensically happy. it's what i'm payed to do. it's literally one of the reasons that i was hired. i'm excited. people here are a lot happier than the ones at the grease pit. even though i like the grease pit, i like working around people who don't hate their jobs. i'm glad i worked there though. i've not had formal training and it's looking like i'm not really going to get any. yesterday right after the boss left, the place Exploded! we were running out of everything and were getting close to the end to the other two workers' shifts. luckily, they didn't abandon me, even when their replacement didn't show up. jeremy drove from near heber to cover and save my skin. speaking of which, i have to go to work now. ta!

common? sense

i always find myself reminded of the classic quote about how common sense is not common. i should not expect it to be so. i do realize that i was raised somewhat abnormally - the youngest girl in a family with five boys and a Tomboy mom, i often have boyish tinges to my personality and views. not only this, but my parents are both avid readers and classic nerds (they met in a math class). regardless of this however, a person should be able to use a knife somewhat properly. it is not a toy, but neither will it bite you if you are careful. i saw both of these ends today, and they both Frustrate me. the former more, because it's sheer Stupidity and more. Not Happy.
this was before we even got to the fire-building. why do these girls know next to nothing? my brothers and i were always building fire in our backyards. i Know that they have moms and dads. why don't they know basic skills? it was all i could do not to just build the fire myself. I'm not the one who needs to certify. beyond that, Don't wave a hot match around. though not as bad as playing with knives, a hot matchhead Can and Will burn things. like fingers.
k, i'm off. ciao y'all.

red skins

i still like the idea, so i'm going to post it, even though it's a couple days old.

the sound of drums echoed through the forest as the bluebird glided ever closer to the clearing. she was not sure what to expect, and was very tense. she stayed at the edge of the trees, peering through to see. there they were. the red skins were quietly making preparations for an excursion of some sort. the bird crept closer, but discovered that wings are not made for creeping, and tumbled disgracefully into the open, catching the attention of all the indians. no turning back now.
but to her strange surprise, the m-vites did not attack. she followed them again through the woods to another clearing, listening to their foreign speech and occasionally daring to add in her own chirp. though they were very different, the m-vites took care and included the little bird whenever they could. by the time she got back to her nest, the bluebird had a pinkish tint to her feathers and had thoroughly enjoyed herself

remembering

it says something about the importance of remembering that they have a whole day given off to it, nationally. there's no school or work, you are just to remember.
the past is very much a part of me. the more stories that i hear of my ancestors, close or distant, the thicker the connection that i can see between them and myself. it makes me think about what traits i am setting up to pass down. who am i? who do i want to be? how am i going to become that way? who's going to help me?
i want to be worth remembering.

as summer begins

the little bluebird stretched as the morning sun touched the edges of her nest and woke her soul. she slowly uncurled and tumbled from the mass of twigs. she caught herself of course, and glided across the grass. she had a vague inclination of where she wanted to go, but for the most part she allowed the wind to carry her along. it was Her Sky, and it had a sort of dependant freedom that was enhanced by the warmth. she Soared. the landscape changed as the bird entered the urban terrain that her friend inhabited. he slunk out at her approach. the bird was surprised to see that he was guarding little ones. these would not be able to go across the hot sand on an excursion to the camel (guess who. i don't know what aminal this person's been given, if any.) she twittered, but was happy to be with the cat at all. one of the miniatures had a cinder under its paw that it pushed across the sidewalk to create a mark. the bluebird swooped down to join in and before long was covered in soot, as was the tomcat. the kittens scampered around the walkway, poking into all the corners they could find and more. as the sun moved along and the little ones were retrieved by their parents, the cat followed the bird out of the alley and up an overlooking hill. as they rose he she some of his guardianness and became more kitten-like, scampering through the grass and purring non-challantly. the bird happily sang no particular tune and rode the wind behind the tomcat. eventually the two parted and she swept back to her trees, still singing.

untitled(s)

i don't really know how to explain myself. it's all first draft, so don't rip it to pieces, ya? (good thing that maya is in egypt, no?) the different fonts are different poems, though they all kind of are similar...except the onion patch. that was just because...i planted onions in my mom's flower garden (nancy told her! curses!). yeah, so uh. good thing i'm a junior. ...k bye.
it's definitely summer. :D

standing on the eDGe
don't fall in
Hold back
Swing Low

a Light at your feet
don't be afraid
Step Forward
Swing Low

held within a Moment
caught along Eternity
Now
and Forever
swinging
Swing Low

Stand Up Straight
don't look Down
look Within You.
what's around
is less important now

position Changes,
I do not
Time just
StoPs.

so UnFulFilled
my Potential faded
childish frivolity
simplicity Wasted

Stand up Straight
don't look Down
look Within You.
what's around
is less important now

yet again it's the end of the year
yes, filled with joy, but also fear.
i want to to jump forward, i long to hold back
chock full of knowledge, so much that i lack
past, present, future, mix and blend
reworking the clock, so thoughtlessly spent
back and forward,
swinging low


onions in a flower patch
i planted yesterday
the blossoms they are sure to match
in a Different sort of way.

until the small things germinate
i hope they aren't discovered
for i seeded them a little late
without permission from my mother.

plainly planted, yet well hidden,
my little garden patch
though socially Forbidden
to it
i've grown
quite
attached.

something fishy

fishnets make my legs look and feel like ham. my feel are worse. who needs tech anyway? lights are over-rated. if there are no lights, no one can see us. no one can see us Mess Up. we don't have to wear make-up, or fishnets, or fake bake. heck, we might not even have to rehearse. i'm so tired. two weeks....i can make two weeks.
on the other hand, if i have to go through all of this, i may as well have the audience that brad and michelle are drilling us so hard for. it makes a great date! uh,maybe. y'all should come anyway. info is at the website oremhighballroom.com.
bluebird's gonna crash for a while. hasta la pasta.

yay!

yay!!! holy cow! it's soooo good to hear that voice again. i LOVE that voice. it's deep and smooth with an easy laugh. even if it does refer to me as nancy more often than not. mmmm, it makes me Happy. actually, we had more than just voice conversation with nathan. we talked over skype, so we got video! ahahaha! he had the camera at a funny angle, so his nose, which is a good-sized nose, was AbNormally good-sized. plus, since he's gained weight, his cheeks are fuller and he looked kinda chubby. it made me laugh. i Miss him A Lot. i'm excited for Christmas. :D *happy dance*

tahitian penguino

it's a strange picture, and yet, it fits. hehehe
the bluebird and the jacana ruffled thair feathers in amusement as they sheepishly flew (yes, sheeps fly) out of the canopy of words. it was easy to get lost in the carnival of color and light. a type of finch had kindly shoed them out; the light had faded and the two hadn't even noticed. such was the entrancing display.
they separated and once more the bluebird was alone with her feathers. it wasn't long however, before the penguin waddled up, also looking rather sheep-like. a remarkable thing, sheep. they're so popular, they often are immitated. but back to the sheep-LIKE penguin. with an impending migration closing in, the bluebird heard his familiar chirp all the more often. she could sense a fear in him and was not sure how to ease it. it made her uneasy.it troubled her, but all she could do was frivolous.

it's over. the mind bending, tormenting, wrenching, ruthless subject has finally turned tail. the door is closed ad i need not take the torture further. no more nightmares, not more sick correlations, and no more Study sessions at the library. no more C-notes, NO MORE! i think that i might have popped if it had gone on much longer. i was compulsively buying goldfish by the end. and twitching.
i don't even have to think about i for three months! saints be pwaised! really though, i'm glad that i did it. i survived, with all my limbs and most of my brain cells. i had so much help. i love my family, my amigos, my teachers, my neighbors, and my Father. i'm very blessed.
it's over though. completely. no more pressure. i don't know what to do with all the oxygen to my brain. it might combust. what do i do? Hahaha! i don't even care! i'm gonna clean my room, and make donuts, and play frisbee and kickball, hang out with my fish, and sleep and read and play with my family. and maybe do some hard core dating.

i think i should do a creative post soon. i miss being a bluebird.

and breath out...halfway

i've discovered an alternate sub-reality. time is different there and it's very quiet. the predominant shape is a bubble. Everything in the world revolves around paper. of the worlds that i've been to, i must say that it's not my favorite. it's strange. i now appreciate the world in which i dwell more, though. now that the trip is over, and that door is closed, my mind is clearer. it's like ii've been holding my breath, and now there's a little less pressure on my lungs.
it's odd to think that a year's worth of work is over in a day. it's over. And, i don't i don't have to look at my scores until july. saints be pwaised! whatever happened, it's in the past.
*SIGH*

oh! and as a postscript for you oldies, Official's going on a mission! she's headed to new zealand for the summer to minister for her church. er, i think. it's "global expeditions." it sounds pretty cool. i'm excited for her.

chlorophylic metamorphosis

i'm one step closer to photosynthetic perfection; i'm an alien. or a plant. either/or. i whacked that lawn today. more than just mowed; Whacked. i like to think of it as domestic bush-whacking. except it's the lawn, sort of. we have lawn that grows like male facial hair. chores are an adventure when you work with combustible hunks o' junk. my feet are Caked green up to my ankles and my pants are smeared with the same. it smells oddly like fish. weird.
the closer it gets to wednesday, the more trouble i'm having studying. i can't concentrate. i'm quite distractable and my brain is sloshy. bad java. i was supposed to go to the review session after school yesterday, but my brain was fried, so i went to the park for spiringfest. BwaHahaHa! Burn, old man winter, BURN! food, friends, frisbee, giant kickball, and a guitar. plus, we went home and watched "what's up,, doc?". what more could you want? oi. i'm Doomed. i did go to the library today, though. but i didn't get a heck of a lot done. i studied for an hour, hung out in the courtyard for an hour, then went back and half-studied for another hour. yep. definitely DOOMED.

com-BUSTED

today has been a day And a Half. uhg. i blame mavis. and snowy. and zach. and myself.
but i'll start at the beginning. so, what, two weeks ago? i was offered a free chem test at the byu. my chem teacher, zach, offered everyone in his class extra credit if they went and took the test. it was only an hour long and i can always use the extra credit, not to mention the test experience. well, mavis and i got the two high scores, a single point apart. since she got the highest score, she would advance and take another test. BUT! her polo ponies stole her away, so i was to take her place. the problem was that nobody knew when exactly the test was, or where it was. and then spring break happened. i tried Everything. i asked my teacher, i asked the other teacher, i asked mavis, i looked on the ACS webside, i looked on the byu's website, i emailed averyone i could think of, and i got Nothin'!
what was i supposed to DO?! i gave up. so this morning, the scheduled morning of the test, i woke up easily, and started eating my breakfast. that is, until the phone rang. Hello? a paniced mrs. snow responded. "terri. you're scheduled to take the test today. where are you?!" she quickly told me where the test was, and i threw on some clothes, grabbed my calculator, and rushed down to the bensen building. i started fifteen minutes later than everyone else, and i soon realized that most of the questions were way deeper than my little pond's worth of knowledge could facilitate. DOOMED! so i guessed. i filled in bubbles like there was no yesterday, cursing the fact that we had an uber crappy cheat sheet the entire time.
that was the easy part. the free response section was Much harder to fake. it doesn't help that i'm a super slow test-taker. i only finished five of the seven questions given to us. i was SO frustrated.
it was noon by now and the eggs in my tummy had curdled, leaving me with a rather queasy feeling. but it STILL wasn't over! they guided the eight of us students, including me, into the laboratory, and handed us each a packet. again, DOOMED! i opened the packet and had no idea where to even start. well, i had an idea, but i could remember the math.
i got as far as i could on the first question, and jumped into the second. we were to identify an unknown metal given 3 molar hcl and some phenolphalen (i love that stuff! chemistry is way better in hot pink!). i had no idea what to do, but i started in anyway. as soon as i uncapped the metal, my nose started to bleed. SHOOT!! i bolted to the bathroom. by the time that i got back, i had ten minutes left to finish. AHH! i made it ALL up, mixing whatever i could get my hands on and taking measurements. i wrote down whatever the first words that came to mind were(thank goodness they were in English. i think), and concluded that the silvery metal was, indead, silver.
i finally crawled home at 3:30. my eyes are still twitching.

huh.

i've been dubbed "the little girl." neil's kinda weird. i've gotten my homework done thiks week, and studied about half the time that i meant to. the crazy penguin got out of school this week too, so we've been chillin', which ends up being a disorienting, semi-frightening experience.
yesterday we went shooting off the coast of the lake somewhere. i Stink. it didn't help that the guns were proportioned for persons larger than i. i didn't really know what to do and ended up kind of standing around for most of it. la la la la. i stop listening when they start talking about the stupid stunts they've done. or are planning to do. that tends to be a problem since it's neil and ryan (think about it).
today i came home from the library (i got sick of all the kids there for story time picking on me. stupid munchkins.), did chores and stuff and got called to go up the canyon with some relative penguins and the green man. commandos is a fun game, though painful in shorts and bare feet. (k, how was i supposed to run in flick-flocks?). we roasted marshymallus and headed to the green man's house.
i think i must just have the mentality and personality that poses me as everyone's little sister. it makes me laugh. especially when i hang out with guys, i'm the kid who's poked, teased, and on the side lines of the think of things, getting pulled in to play when they feel like playing a little softer. it's a nice break from being responsible and doing all my work though, which is why i think i like hanging out with them. i would expound further on my thesis, but i'm too tired. maybe banana.
*yawn* i felt sheepish when i fell asleep on the ride home. the green man's car vibrates A Lot and i can never stay conscious in a car anyway. mmmm, like one of those baby swings. except it smelled like pizza instead of baby powder. i have a hard time waking up, and they were making fun of me when i couldn't talk or understand.

Open UP!

just when you thought that poetry was safe...
from the depths of the orem media center comes...Open Mic Night. Yes, Open Mic Night. the public has never seen anything like this before, even on the weekends. national poetry month will take on whole new meaning. imagine the Fear! the Passion! the sKipped ditches and ConFuZZled Faces! BWAhaHaha! Ha!
seriously folks, it's gonna be fun. april pretty much rocks at the library. open mic is friday night, starting with chillins at 7, then opening to others at 8. any and all should go. i'm breaking out the zoot suit and sunglasses. berets anyone?
*oh hey, and other jazz is up on the library calender. it's pwetty awesome: http://www.oremlibrary.org/index_files/events.htm

support your local library

ah, i love spring break. i woke up this morning with the biggest smile. i only slept till 8 too. not too shabby. even though it's dreary afuera, i'm still pretty happy. especially with the awesome beginning i got. so, saturday morning, looking all pretty for my mac and cheese, and the doorbell rings. everyone else is too far away or has food in their mouth, so i re-wrapped myself in my blanket and headed down the hall. i opened the door and my eyeballs popped out halfway to new hampshire. STEVE!! holy, i haven't seen you in seven months! steve left for lehi in october without telling anybody. just up and moved. i talk to him sometimes on im, but i haven't seen him in forever. he was one of the last people i'd expect on my doorstep. oh, it was fun, we talked and he ate the orange death with us, and we went for a walk. he makes me laugh. he always takes me off guard since he's super quiet. and then sunday was Easter!m m, and the library is a very good place. i like living there. =D

slurring reality

i've taken over 150 pictures in the last week. they're all required. let's recap: 50 for park city (i got my slides back today. shooting in color film is frustrating. they develop weird. i don't like them. grrr.) around 80 for "shot and burnt", and 36 today at scera park. now i realize why nobody can guess my age; the sixth graders (6th? maybe 5th. i hope it was the former.) were taller than me. and i was in pigtails, eating animal crackers while running around the park barefoot. i hope they turn out well.

what's bizarre (who's that singing?) is that i've talked about light and energy in almost all my classes today, and in classes that i didn't have. messed up and confused yet? don't worry; there's still more! we were talking about Pictures as we Colored in interiors today, then i showed numan my work (via the blog), in cacl i had to deal with the stupid Lamp question that i can never figure out (i hate the calculator section by the way. it should die.), in seminary we spoke of kolob, and the Twinkling of an Eye. he compared it to Light Speed and i started talking about Photons and Wave Mechanics. Photo of course, we walked over to the elementary school and took Pictures of the munchkins. they're Crazy! all of it was the silver reacting on the emulsion and the vibration of the retina and the affixed evergy which causes a chemical rotation, dipole moment, and nerve impulse to your brain. and the...Light. it was a nice pre-review before the review on wave mechanics from zach (visible spectrum: 1 x 10^-9 meters!) how did all of my classes suddenly mush into one? why do i live at the school? i want june to come. we can skip april and may.

i may stay after and develop tomorrow. then i can show y'all my school photos. i need to go read befor review at time and later.

butter me up and eat me for breakfast

i'm ToastED.
i was listening to conference on the picnic table and i started drooling. i don't remember falling asleep. it's nice. i think i'll wear cap sleeves tomorrow. my arms are still really warm. i love it, but when i came in my dad took a look at me and sat me down for a lecture on carcenogens. *sigh* i love it, but i'm not a fan of cancer, or pre-wrinkly, both of which i'm very prone to. pasty contest 2006! i'm totally winning this year. *grumble grumble mutt grumble*

on the other foot, i actually did my homework yesterday! color 2006 gets three thumbs up! it was inspired, dramatic, and full of flare. let's take a gander shall we?

the first i like to call jacob's firetruck. there was a safety fair at the church yesterday. it was pretty fun.

later, taking the advice of my paternal figure, i headed to the IFA store. it's apparently a really hip hangout for chicks. and bunnies.

looking around, i also happened to run into a lone m-vite. and looking rather dashing in his pink hat.

unfortunately, i believe he later got caught in a fiber-optic bailing machine. or perhaps that was before the chicks. either way, he doesn't seem too torn up about it. yay for blue flip-flops!

april fool

it's not my fault. i promise. i think it's a genetic mutation. like psycological cancer. i blame it on genetics, low sleep, and uncoordinated administration.
see, stress is normal, pressure is normal, but my reaction to them is not normal. and it's not fair. i used to be able to leave my work where it belonged: in the books. now it's always with me, sitting in the back of my head, talking me through life, the universe, and everything. photo is now and electrochemistry review, scripture mastery brings entropy to mind, and from there i think of relationships and visa-versa. i see chocolate and i think of calrimetry and the pH of your physiological system. even lord of the rings is tainted. vases have me thinking of integrals, and lines always twist themselfs into graphs. it may be a form of dislexia. i can't even go unconscious to it; i fell asleep in seminary the other day and had to do calculus instead. when i finally get to sleep at night, i do homework or labs or sit by the river trying to take logs. phillip and michael (stuffed animals, jsyk) say that i babble non-sensically and they somehow end up on the floor by morning, while i'm being eaten by a twisted mass of blankets. i've ceased making sense to my friends, my family, and really anyone but mavis. help me! i'm going under! my tenuous connection to reality is fading.
and i need to shoot 30 color on saturday. please inquire.
Praise the thunder god!
i think i'm gonna go make a polyatomic ion poster, pack tomorrow's lunch, and cuddle with my review books.

charmingly chubby

every year at thanksgiving i'ma little reluctant to leave the frozen block of ice, and swim home with moby again. I love all the food and the free time and the pool and the FOOD! Everything always tastes so good and i still want to eat, even when i'm filled up to my eyebrows. i don't want to leave, to go back to where the food is still good, but not as abundant and well-tended.
i feel the same way about Conference. i love it oh, so much! i eat and drink in the spiritual sense and can't seem to get enough. i feel kinda bloated, but the end of the sunday afternoon session comes all too quickly. i stole my dad's cd's from october and am listening to them. the weekend was so good. i hated to go to sleep.
but then, although eating is pleasurable, it is not an end unto itself. food is meant to sustain a man as he lives. it gives him the energy to act. the same applies to spiritual sustainance. all the learning and spiritual growth is worthless without action. we have to go back into Babylon, and live what we've learned.

"...do not suppose that this is all; for after ye have done all these things, if ye turn away the needy, and the naked, and visit not the sick and afflicted, and impart of your substance, if ye have, to those who stand in need—I say unto you, if ye do not any of these things, behold, your prayer is vain, and availeth you nothing, and ye are as hypocrites who do deny the faith." -Alma 34:28

" Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." -Matthew 5: 16

It's time to go to Work.

fairly truthful

I am stubborn. I have long ago accepted the fact as a fundamental part of my nature. I will be the first to admit that, when I get something into my head, good or bad, I stick to it like a big wad of duct tape. But just because I'm stubborn doesn't mean that I'm not right.
In third grade, my family found a piece of paper at our house that created quite an uproar. I've always prided myself on being a good student; I always do my homework the night that it's given and I promptly turn it in on time, if not early. I never forget. So when my mom held up the paper, the affixed question dangling in front of me, I was almost offended. No, of course the homework was not mine. The question turned next to my second grade brother, Spence. Spence has never been as school-oriented as I. While A's are run of the mill for me, the Hallelujah Chorus breaks out if Spence comes anywhere near one. The recovered English worksheet must be his. He looked at it carefully, then shook his head.
“Nope, not mine, Mom.”
“Well, it has to be somebody's,” she said, “and it needs to be filled out and turned in.”
I couldn't believe it. Spence was either lying or had completely forgotten an assignment. How do you forget a school assignment? Needless to say, the problem of the paper did not stop with the singular incident. It swelled and bloomed into a Venus fly trap that started chomping any time the conversation came to close to the subject. I firmly said, stated, then screamed that the homework was not mine and there was no way in Kentucky that I was going to do it. Spence followed suit and we both lost count of the times we were sent to our rooms for fighting over the paper. I still have the scars.
Finally, Mom had had enough. She dragged me into Spence's room one day, sat me on the bed, and folded her arms.
“I'm going to ask the two of you one more time: Whose assignment is this?”
We both folded our arms and glared at each other. “It's not mine,” I said, and tried to get up to leave. Mom shoved me back down.
“It's not mine either!” Spence was shoved down too.
“Fine. There are only two of you, so it can't be anyone else's. No little homework fairy snuck in and left it on the living room floor. If neither of you are willing to claim it, then we will go to your teachers. Whoever it belongs to will apologize to the other and will buy them a king-size candy bar out of their allowance.” She snatched the paper off the bed and stalked from the room.
A bet! Mom was really serious if she was setting up a bet. We were never allowed to bet. Spence bet me I wouldn't eat a live spider once. When I did, he told Mom and I was grounded for a week after getting my mouth washed out with Dad's old soap. Somehow, Spence wasn't punished. Well, it wasn't my homework, and I wasn't going to lose.
It seemed like an eternity before Mom arrived after school the next day. At last, she marched into the room and up to Mrs. Foster, holding the now rumpled and dirty scrap of homework, Spence trailing behind.
“Excuse me,” she began, “but is this Amy's? An owner cannot be found at my home and I was wondering if you could help us.”
“Hmm...” Mrs. Foster puzzled, “it looks like our grade level, but I'm afraid that I've never seen that paper before. It can't be Amy's.”
Yes! I stuck my tongue out at Spence and grinned triumphantly. I imagined the glorious chocolate that was as good as in my mouth. I smiled as we headed out of the room and to Spence's classroom; Mom had promised to check with both teachers. She approached Spence's slender teacher and asked the question that I already knew the answer to.
“Does this homework belong to Spence?” she asked.
“Hmm...” (Teachers seem to say “hmm” a lot.) “No, I'm afraid that assignment doesn't belong to my class. Perhaps one of the other teachers could help you.”
What? No! It was his! It had to be! My mother's expression echoes my thoughts. The three of us walked stiffly out to the car, too dumbfounded to say anything. What were we supposed to do? Mom pulled out of the parking lot and started down the street. I stared blindly out the car window until we passed a billboard for The Thomas Theatre. It had a picture of a fairy. I pointed it out to Spence and he burst out laughing.
“It's the Homework Fairy!” He exclaimed.
Stupid fairy. I wanted that candy bar. No, I'm not bitter, I just wanted my candy bar, which I never got by the way. Yes, I know, I'm stubborn. I still hate that fairy.

school days

i miss elementary school. i miss snacks, recess, no homework, and knowing everyone in your class. i miss projects that you would do In Class, playing games and reading stories. I TOTALLY miss field trips. once in preschool, we went to the zoo. i was so excited that the night before, i woke up at four in the morning to get ready. i remember waking my mom up to see if i could get dressed and have breakfast yet.

i try to go on field trips every once in a while. they aren't quite as exciting as that usually. i do have a fun time looking, learning, and talking to people though. i had an assignment for reece to take pictures of the constitutional amendments on wednesday. it was perfect because we're starting a unit on photoshop in photo. photosafaries are the best things. i love em. the conflict: my mom had the car. i'm doomed! oh wait, no that just means that i take a two hour nap till she comes home. and then, i had it all planned out: the newspaper, the library, the city building, the church and whatever caught my eye along the way.


but of course, being me, i got stuck at the first step. i saw some of the extra papers lying around, and it perked my interest. so i go up to the brunette secretary and ask if i can get back into the press room. and she actually picked up the phone and got me permission. escorted of course. while i waited, a blong lady walked in, holding two drinks and bouncing with excitement. "are you ready for this?!" she asked, and gave the secretary one of the brown cups. the two jab straws through the plastic tops and start sucking down whatever it is.
"do you like it? it's kinda weird and i didn't really know how to describe it, but it's good ya know?"
"yeah, kinda...chewy. i want to spit it out to see what it looks like, but i won't"
"thank you for sparing me."
i grinned to myself. guess who they reminded me of? i think that they had forgot that i was standing right there waiting for my escort because they both looked over and blushed. right then larry walked up and introduced himself. good timing, my friend.


the dim light and the ink in the air surrounded me and everything else as larry showed me around the HUGE machines sucking in paper. the rolls were bigger than i am tall. we wandered through the narrow hallways, watching the 16x20 negatives being made, loaded onto the reels, and the products being whisked away at speeds papers usually don't reach. as the ink was cleaning and being adjusted, the papers were drenched in color. the column (in the back with confetti strips hanging off the rings) was a rainbow as they swirled and blended. larry commented that it takes about 600 papers to get the color, pages and alignment all right. everyone we talked to smiled and had something to say to us. they pointed out funny things in the print, told jokes, and taught me little things.

i was sad when larry finally had to go back to work, i walked out of the warehouse trailing ink. i think that i still have some on the bottoms of my flipflips. i went home and almost wanted to do a write up on it; what was your favorite part? name four things you learned? what was the guide's name? how did the experience make you feel? nstead i stayed up till two writing a story and pasting pictures. what i realixed when i got to school the next day was that i could have skipped the entire assignment and still have gotten an A in the class. i laughed. i love the end of the term.

bluebirdies and cream

it followed me home. i am most displeased. as for the trip, just imagine: me, in a small cabin, with a bunch of adolecence females, surrounded by five feet of snow, for three days. weird weird weird. nah, actually it wasn't all that bad. we had fun, and i'm excited for camp. i'm gonna be the coolest ycl ever. it's the week before efy too. by the time i go back to work, i'll be twitching convusively. YUS!
on a completely other note (minor), the siblings' stake dance was a party. i'm such a nerd. but it's okay. i'm glad the m-vites came. though i got snow down my collar...
hmmm, and speaking of snow, i have a thought for you to ponder, before i finish and go to cal; how did nephi know what driven snow looked like? they don't have snow in jeruselam, do they?

geese

the three birds meandered slowly and half-blindly through the snow. for some strange reason the bluebird was in the lead. though she was the only fowl among them that knew where they were going, she was not a winter bird and had, um...trouble. but finally the group landed.
what was not expected was the fact that they had to wear SKIRTS. and have DANCE CADRS! so instead they watched making fiends. All. Night. Long. let's pretend to be postal workers!

paired up

i went shopping with my dad today. to...The Mall. my mom refused to take me. it's too graphic. but by easing my father behind the wheel of only car with gas in it by saying i needed to go to the library, ( i really did. those cds are two days overdue.) i manuvered the Pickup to...The Mall.
i've needed shoes since october. half of my "nice clothes" were completed by a pair of flip flops. no longer so, and i've been wearing winter shoes since. but i long to wear that other half. not having any money myself, i am dependant upon my parental figures. however, when approached with the subject, my mother shudders and either says, "later" or that the boys are practically falling out of their shoes. she's never really liked shopping herself, especially at...The Mall.
now, the boys have the unfair advantage of feet that are yet growing. i haven't budged since eighth grade. i get shoes once a year. maybe. they get shoes every couple months. and thus i finangled the black flats out of forever young and onto my rather reluctant feet.(i like them, but how can i love them after my flip flops? they're just...aquaintances.) but it got me thinking about the extent to which i manipulate my parents and, quite often, cause contention within their relationship. everyone does it; it's human nature. mom isn't gonna sway, so you sweet talk daddy, and then slip away when the two start to talk. a couple needs to have a very stable relationship before children. while kids do strengthen the bond, it needs to be able to withstand the inevitable tug-of-war that children will inflict upon their parents.
that's my profound thought, and geeky shopping experience for the day. *sigh* maybe if i "forget" my shoes tomorrow it will make me feel better. except that people check my feet now. weirdos.

too much time on my hands

avoiding my homework, lalalalala. i do need to read and do math soon. plus, i've been on the computer WAY too long for good health or hygiene. i need a hobby. i need to call amicus. is it too late for that? i know not.
but, i should leave you with something edifying before i depart. hmm..this'll work:

A turkey should never be carved until it has been out of the oven at least 30 minutes. This permits the inner cooking to subside and the internal meat juices to stop running. Once the meat sets, it's easier to carve clean, neat slices.

happy saturday all!

i talked to ryan today. first time in a month. he got his call today too. funny how that works. he's going to Tahiti. not what i expected.
it's strange. i don't know how i feel. i've always known that he would leave. it's a given. but now that he's set to leave...
i wish that i had a better relationship with him. i wish that i knew how to fix the mistakes that i've made in the one we have. i don't know how. i want to be his friend so bad. why is it so hard? i don't understand and that scares me. i don't know what to do.

beatnik

with rhymes, the time,
it sauntered on,
a dark light filled the air
people passed,
came and left,
surprised, for why should one care
for another so odd

yet came, and shared
spilling words out
an aura of several lifetimes
merged, mixed,
swirling souls
uncommon, a heart was bared
and understood

it far surpassed what i had supposed. more people showed up than i had expected. five schools represented. not too shabby. i felt more sheepish that i should have due to the fact, however. you guys are all hummers, ya know? truely amazing. especially matthias and t-man. rock on. i wish that more of those who just came had shared, i wish that the list had been used, so that it might have been more contiguous, but what to do? hahaha, and my dad shared a poem. it made me giggle.
bahahaha! i told t-man that it would work. my plotting, scheming, and subterfuge, such as it was. but he just laughed as the little bird and the duck crept into the bear cave. bwah ha...ha. i'm such a nerd. thanks for hanging out with us 9c. i'm glad that you guys came. i'm sorry that i still yet failed to introduce myself. i suppose that perhaps i will yet remain a miss terri.

coming

it's coming. i saw it this afternoon as i woke up from a nap. mavis brought me the first little bit, and the rest is on the way. i can feel it rising, swelling like the returning tide, filtering in through the cracks of my white-washed walls. i'm going to be patient though. i can't let myself jump the gun; i get too excited and won't pay any attention to anything. still, how can one not be anxious to live? no, i must be content, and wait. It's Coming, i can feel the sunshine.

monday

-part one-
the ocelot called from the warm land of sand and sun. i hate that fweakin' marshmallow. no, not really. i really love her guts and miss her bodatious personality. as much as i adore the geek, i don't fit in with the band. Anyway, the cat was frazzled and got me mildly so myself. BEATNIK IS SATURDAY! we still need to plaster flyers, dance for tigerline, talk to people, make sure that there is someone to open the door to set up, make sure that there are people TO set up and run everything, clarify with the advisor, make brownies, and write a stupid intro. mavis, bring your camera, cause it's either going to be fabulous, or we'll want to have documentation as my brain explodes and oozes out my eyeballs. help me obi-wan. OliveR...

-part two-
why am i the funnest person to set up in the world? i'm afraid to count how many marriages are being arranged for me. i can think of three that have come into play in the last week. lets start with the weekend shall we? so, there's this guy in smiley's ward that goes to a private school. after i met him, i foolishly expressed interest in smiley's general vicinity. since then i don't see him without the undertone of Him present. friday we went on a double date around the byu and then stargazing on the roof of the car (it was FrEEzing by the way). He's okay, but not really as much of my type as i thought. problem is, He's interested now, and smiley's set on picking out curtains and carpet. i'm going to His basketball game wednesday. what do i do?! arg!
but it gets better! on another circle, there was a stake dance last saturday, and this boy that used to be in my ward came. his mom has been planning our wedding since before i can remember. he's homeschooled, so he doesn't have a lot of friends and i tried to make him feel welcome and comfortable, and failed miserably. it was so awkward sometimes. On instance was as the band there started to play "white dresses" he came up and asked me to dance, probably the only girl that he had or would ask. NO! i promised the tomcat that i wouldn't dance to the song (he wrote it, that's another story). i had to say no, and when i looked for him after to dance with him the next slow song, i could find him. he'd left. i'm such a jerk, what do i do?

arg! why do these problems hunt me down? i don't do anything. help me obi-wan! oh wait...

an older alice

alice woke up in a pleasant enough way, with harmonious melodies swimmng merrily through her sea of consciousness. a tropical storm soon developed over the former tranquility however, and before the girl knew what was going on, she had fallen sideways through several strange doors, a car and found herself shivering on the cold, unforgiving tile floor of a strange building, wrought of a peculiar brick and mortar that was utterly unappealing in every way. deciding to make the best of an odd situation to which she saw no immediate relief, alice decided to explore the chilly institution.

she wandered through the building, and came upon crowds of people that were stranger than any she had ever met. with no direction or purpose, most would walk around in a daze, sometimes even completely halting for no apparent reason at all. through her exploration of the many corridors and halways of the building, alice found countless doors. she expected that there much be something very extensive and great in the building to need so many rooms to hold it, but upon opening them, she mearly found more of the directionless people and various lectures, most presented in a rather boring fashion, to no one, as not even the professors themselves gave them any heed. in one room, voices came in a sad strain:

the african prince mahuma,
had really nothing to do-a
as he went to put on his long shoes-a
he tripped, he fell, and he died, died, died...

finally, lost, tired, and extensively hungry, alice sat down and tried to think of what ought to be done next. her reverie was shattered when a piercing clank sounded from the very walls of the place. the crowd filled the halls with frightening sudden magnitude, and alice was quite powerless against the throng. she felt herself falling once again, the people, floors, and lights blurring into a senseless mush, that reminded alice of a time when her brother had burned berried oatmeal. in fact, as she thought, the oatmeal became more and more distinct in her mind.

alice opened her eyes , taking a long moment to focus on the floral pattern of her family's love seat. she yawned, smoothed her dress, and went grogily to find her sister. she failed to notice a small bookbag half open in the rocking chair.

oh.

thought you might enjoy. happy days, all!

Oh, to be in England for only 'alf a mo',
For w'en they speak of "wireless"
they mean a radio:
Where "private schools" are public,
and "public schools" are snobby,
And "insurance" means assurance
and a cop is called a "bobby".
Where traffic has a circus
and "up" is down the street,
Where a sweater is a "jumper"
and a candy is a "sweet";
Where a cookie is a "biscuit"
and a "trifle" a dessert,
And "bloody" is a cuss-word,
and an ad is an "advert".
Where gasoline is "petrol"
and a "stone" is fourteen pounds:
Where motor cars wear "bonnets"
and you take the "underground".
Where, when holding up your trousers,
it is "braces" that you use,
And a truck is called a "lorry"
and "boots" are really shoes.
Where a druggist is a "chemist"
and movies are "the flicks",
And you "queue up on the pavement"
for a "stall at 3 & 6".
There is no language barrier
and a tourist need not dread,
As long as he knows English
from A to Z, - no "Zed".

cold hands, lukewarm heart

crazy utah weather *grumble grumble snort*. i scraped snow onto my feet going out to my car today. i'm getting psycological whiplash. the fake bake is looking more and more appealing every day.i want the sun, i want.., i want..to party. i want to party, party. yeah, anyway.
i finished a beautiful print today! it's the one thing that it going right with this assignment. perhaps it's just that print that i am meant to show. maybe it's really a manifestation of my deepest subconscious reaching out, trying to be noticed. that must be it.
in other news,, i'm thoroughly enjoying the atmosphere that san valentine left in his wake. all the females of the school (even the ones that did get stuff yesterday) are severely sexist around this time of year. it makes me laugh. they don't even notice. i know that even i follow the trend. i really, just, as much as i appreciate them, and ironically get along with them better than with most gals, i dislike males right now. *sigh* i want summer.

rest stop

bathrooms are an important part of the intellectual processing of society. much can be learned about a group of people mearly from examining their bathrooms. as part of this, much can be learned from the writing in the bathrooms of a group of people. it's an important aspect. why is it that all public bathrooms have writing on them in the first place? it is a rather unique form of expression, though it's not localized to a particular area. by writing on the bathroom wall, you can write privately, yet the information is put forth for public consideration and enlightenment. it makes you wonder what the writing in the stalls of different places is like. like, central chicago vs. southern louisiana. or hawaii. or at standfort and oxford. i'm seriously considering grabbing a marker and jotting down some poetry in a bathroom stall.

part two

for those who do really dig photo, there is a year's worth of pictures on the blog mindofthephotographer.blogspot.com as a forwarning though, you may want to read lightly. goes with the territory. but the pictures are good if you want to look through his archives when you have some time. the blog is complete (it was only meant to last a year), so he doesn't post very often at all. but the frogurt is also cursed.... :D

days in frames

it's interesting to see progression through art. i developed the Reshoot of the studio shoot today, and you have a lot of time to think while holding the canister of fixer and doing the half-bouncy, sleepy baby mom-stroll around the dark room. the pictures turned out great, and what's better, ms. tuttle found that they Hadn't deleted the test pictures off of the digital, so i have a cd. good stuff. but it made me laugh to compare the pictures to those that i've taken through time. even just from last year, there's a marked style change. some of it just may be the mood of the studio, but i don't think that all of it is. it makes me wonder what happened that changed my style so much. the year may have had a lot to do with it (two best friends on missions, another married, the penguin, and other things). how have a changed? it's times like this that i wish that i could change lenses and look through another's perspective. how would i think of myself a couple years ago if i had seen what i would become? i wonder sometimes.

p.s.- the cat is eighth grade, the park is last april, and the rose is last week. they're a little out of order. hasta.